FLESH.

I think the muses have heard my call, as I have about 4 entries in my head and I really don’t know where o start…

I am alone. No, I am not referring to the factual significance of the word, I am actually surrounded by people even when I don’t want to to, but, I am referring to the more sentimental content of the word. A good friend (I’d like to believe he is) highlighted “Oh, you have a conscience now?” And I don’t blame him. I have lived a life of very weird and strange experiences. I have fulfilled almost every humane sin one might be able to think of, but when it comes to relationships I am very hesitant to draw that one step: Compromise.

I have however grown a lot in the past six years, they have provided me with a lot to think of and set my priorities straight. I have not been able to launch myself as successfully as I thought I would, thanks in part to my own wrongdoing, however, I like to think that all this was a necessary process for me to appreciate my opportunities: The one I’ve had and the ones I’m looking forward to.

My cousin-brother is actually getting married in about a month which is in part the reason I have been growing more aware of the fact that I am still alone. My former best friend, now turned bitter adversary (I hope we can get over this in the next few year, say 20-30?) got married as well, but she did so to release herself of the guilt of leaving her home without the gold ring in her hand, social commodities if you will.

My other best friend (my other neglected best friend) has decided to marry then man that blatantly cheats on her, she is now pregnant, but she is fulfilling her lifelong dream of bearing that little boy in her womb (Sorry, little girl).

My other best friend, my human figure of success with flesh, is happily married and has now fathered his first daughter, a beautiful baby girl with a head full of hair alike his.

I do not know if that is what my future holds ahead. Marriage. Babies. Success. Lies.

My life is full of lies I can tell you that, some I regret, some I have learned to believe as truths with a lemon twist. I am a human burned by the marks of past mistakes. Marks that I am struggling to get rid of. But it’d sure be more easy if I had someone next to me supporting me and breathing life to me. I haven’t been very successful at that, so I have to keep my patience.

I am surrounded by objects of flesh that do not look any further than their nose to see people for who they really are, instead of how they look like. The society I have been placed in, will always judge me by the package, and not by the content and that seriously worries me, as I am a man of details, not of full presentation.

I will eventually have to bend over and give away to the pressure placed over me by society and become a clone, as I have always been expected to be. I wonder if this time it will be good enough, or if yet again, they will ask me to push it up a notch more.

It never ends.

Ehl.

PS. la fotico es del disco "Sleeping with Ghosts" de Placebo, yes i know, the irony...