A friend sent this to me today, and it is in fact the funniest thing i have read in a little while, enjoy it.
Ehl.
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The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Personal Update
Este es uno de esos emails, que uds saben me gusta llenar. De hecho es la unica cadena que hago caso. So na, ahi ta!
1. What time is it: 3:30PM
2. Name: Emanuel Hilario Lightbourne
3. What are you most afraid of? Lizzards, of any kind, you name em', i'll fear them.
4. What do you drive? Currently, Mitsubishi Lancer GLXi, 1998. In December, hopefully, we'll be a little more european...
5. Have you ever seen a ghost? Of course not.
6. Where were you born? Abreu Clinic, Santo Domingo de Guzman, DN. In Lovely DR.
7. Ever been to Alaska? It must be thrilling and excillerating to watch ice break and fall appart, but i haven't delighted on such pleasures yet.
8. Ever been toilet paper rolling? Well, i don't do drugs, so i don't "roll" paper if thats what you mean.
9. Croutons or Bacon bits? Bacon; I'm learning to eat now and the golden rule is "Carbs or Protein?, proteins pease!"
10. Favorite day of the week? Unlike my sister in law, I only like tuesdays and thanks to my friend Leo, Fridays.
11. Favorite restaurant: It used to be Outback, loved the Pasta there (yes i know its carbs, but hell, it was good). Now it's any sushi bar, Sushi Ya! comes to mind. Peperoni no hace dano por lo menos una vez al ano. Rey's Tacos es bien bueno. Y me han dado muy buenas referencias de Quattro donde ire la semana que viene, les dejo saber.
12. Favorite Flower: I'm not much of a flower guy, BUT my friend Shajira did introduce me to those lilac colored roses, stealth roses was it? They're supposed to be the perfect roses.
13 . Favorite sport to watch: I like all olympic sports, tennis and Wrestling
14. Favorite Drink : Coke, i'm an addict to it.
15. Favorite Ice cream: Very Berry Strawberry in BR; Strawberry Cheesecake and Belgian Chocolate in HD. De Bon, el Barquito de Dulce de Leche.
16. Disney or Warner Brothers: Warner Bros (Go Harry Potter!)
17. Favorite fast food restaurant: If it's up to me, Burguer King all the way. But since its close to work, i'm stuck with Mickey D's. On Mondays, Taco Bell, 50% off menu.
18. What color is your bedroom carpet? Granite Floor baby.
19. How many times you failed your driver's test? None, I Bought my license. for RD$300.00, ask Shajira what happened the first night i drove a car on my on, when we where at Taco Banano's, she should remember jejejejejeejej.
20. Who will respond to this email the quickest? I honestly have no fuck Idea
21. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond? Omar, pero entonces, na mas por joder, el se va a poner a llenarlo y me lo va a mandar primero...
23. Who is the person that you are most curious to see their response? Everybody actually.
24. Favorite TV show: HEROES! Save the chearleader, Save the World!
26. What are you listening to right now? "Personal Jesus" by Marilyn Manson
27. What are your favorite colors? If you ask Emilkis, after a very Ironic slang of wordings, she'll say she was blinded by the blue lights that reflect out of my closet. Pero i also like green and red and grey.
28. How many tattoos do you have? None, for now...
29. Do you have any pets? I'm dying to get a fucking dog, a Toy Fox Terrier, and his name will be Radio Hilario Lightbourne (con el permiso de Sergio Carlo)
30. Which came first the chicken or the egg? Well, assuming I believe the bible theories, I have to definetly go with the Chicken.
31.What would you like to accomplish before you die? I would love to have made some sort of difference in making my country a better place for everyone. That is EVERYONE.
32. Who are you sending this e-mail to? Just a handfull of people, but they wont know who they are...
1. What time is it: 3:30PM
2. Name: Emanuel Hilario Lightbourne
3. What are you most afraid of? Lizzards, of any kind, you name em', i'll fear them.
4. What do you drive? Currently, Mitsubishi Lancer GLXi, 1998. In December, hopefully, we'll be a little more european...
5. Have you ever seen a ghost? Of course not.
6. Where were you born? Abreu Clinic, Santo Domingo de Guzman, DN. In Lovely DR.
7. Ever been to Alaska? It must be thrilling and excillerating to watch ice break and fall appart, but i haven't delighted on such pleasures yet.
8. Ever been toilet paper rolling? Well, i don't do drugs, so i don't "roll" paper if thats what you mean.
9. Croutons or Bacon bits? Bacon; I'm learning to eat now and the golden rule is "Carbs or Protein?, proteins pease!"
10. Favorite day of the week? Unlike my sister in law, I only like tuesdays and thanks to my friend Leo, Fridays.
11. Favorite restaurant: It used to be Outback, loved the Pasta there (yes i know its carbs, but hell, it was good). Now it's any sushi bar, Sushi Ya! comes to mind. Peperoni no hace dano por lo menos una vez al ano. Rey's Tacos es bien bueno. Y me han dado muy buenas referencias de Quattro donde ire la semana que viene, les dejo saber.
12. Favorite Flower: I'm not much of a flower guy, BUT my friend Shajira did introduce me to those lilac colored roses, stealth roses was it? They're supposed to be the perfect roses.
13 . Favorite sport to watch: I like all olympic sports, tennis and Wrestling
14. Favorite Drink : Coke, i'm an addict to it.
15. Favorite Ice cream: Very Berry Strawberry in BR; Strawberry Cheesecake and Belgian Chocolate in HD. De Bon, el Barquito de Dulce de Leche.
16. Disney or Warner Brothers: Warner Bros (Go Harry Potter!)
17. Favorite fast food restaurant: If it's up to me, Burguer King all the way. But since its close to work, i'm stuck with Mickey D's. On Mondays, Taco Bell, 50% off menu.
18. What color is your bedroom carpet? Granite Floor baby.
19. How many times you failed your driver's test? None, I Bought my license. for RD$300.00, ask Shajira what happened the first night i drove a car on my on, when we where at Taco Banano's, she should remember jejejejejeejej.
20. Who will respond to this email the quickest? I honestly have no fuck Idea
21. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond? Omar, pero entonces, na mas por joder, el se va a poner a llenarlo y me lo va a mandar primero...
23. Who is the person that you are most curious to see their response? Everybody actually.
24. Favorite TV show: HEROES! Save the chearleader, Save the World!
26. What are you listening to right now? "Personal Jesus" by Marilyn Manson
27. What are your favorite colors? If you ask Emilkis, after a very Ironic slang of wordings, she'll say she was blinded by the blue lights that reflect out of my closet. Pero i also like green and red and grey.
28. How many tattoos do you have? None, for now...
29. Do you have any pets? I'm dying to get a fucking dog, a Toy Fox Terrier, and his name will be Radio Hilario Lightbourne (con el permiso de Sergio Carlo)
30. Which came first the chicken or the egg? Well, assuming I believe the bible theories, I have to definetly go with the Chicken.
31.What would you like to accomplish before you die? I would love to have made some sort of difference in making my country a better place for everyone. That is EVERYONE.
32. Who are you sending this e-mail to? Just a handfull of people, but they wont know who they are...
All is fare
Ok, the latest update in the game of how to date someone has brought some not very pleasant news on the warfront.
However, I'll take things a little deeper now. I think I'm starting to know where my lead is heading to, but I'm not much of a follower am I? So now more aggressive measures must be taken in order to complete the task I set upon myself about a week ago.
Ladies. Gentlemen. The show is about to begin.
Ehl.
However, I'll take things a little deeper now. I think I'm starting to know where my lead is heading to, but I'm not much of a follower am I? So now more aggressive measures must be taken in order to complete the task I set upon myself about a week ago.
Ladies. Gentlemen. The show is about to begin.
Ehl.
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